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What To Do About a Child Who Can’t Handle Money

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2014 VOLUME 21 NUMBER 31

A reader asks: “could you do an article on how to leave inheritance to a son who is not good at handling money? Should I leave his portion to another son who is good at it? They are very close and would get along.”

First we have a disclaimer, then the answer, then an explanation.

The Disclaimer

We don’t know our reader’s life situation, or her son(s), well enough to give her actual legal advice. The answer we offer will be based on generalities, and might not apply to her very well. This is why one hires a lawyer — to get actual advice based on one’s real circumstances (oh, and for drafting of the documents — but that’s usually less important than the advice).

We do have some observations and suggestions to consider, but they are based on situations that we have seen before and our knowledge of law and human nature. They are offered not as an answer, but as an exploration of some of the alternatives our reader — and you, if you are in a similar situation — should think about.

The Answer

What you probably need, dear reader, is a trust for the benefit of your son who is not very good at handling money. Whether your son who is good at handling money will serve as trustee or not should be a question that you discuss with your attorney. But if you meant to ask whether you should just disinherit your son who is not good with money and give a double portion to your other son (expecting him to take care of his brother) — the answer to that question is a clear and firm “no!”

Some Definitions

(Special bonus section. It will help the explanation flow more smoothly.)

An arrangement where one person handles money for the benefit of another is called a trust. A trust can be formal, with lots of legalistic provisions and directions to the trustee, or very simple. You can simply hand a check to one person, saying “here, take care of this for your brother” and create a trust. But don’t — that’s a sure way to destroy familial relationships and transfer family wealth to lawyers. It is important to have an actual trust document.

A trust can be created in your will (in which case it is called a testamentary trust) or while you are still alive (in which case it is usually called a living trust, though some lawyers prefer the term inter vivos trust). The person who is entitled to receive benefits from the trust, whether right now or upon the death of the current recipient, is called a beneficiary.

A trust that prohibits the beneficiary from transferring his or her interest in the trust’s assets to another person is called a spendthrift trust. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the beneficiary is a spendthrift, though he or she may be.

The person who handles money for another is a trustee, and a trustee is a fiduciary. A fiduciary has an obligation to report the finances of the trust to the beneficiary (beneficiaries, actually — the people who receive benefits on the death of the current beneficiary may also be entitled to reports. But that’s a topic for another day).

If you create a testamentary trust (in your will, remember?), you have pretty much assured that your estate will need to go through the probate process in order to fund the trust. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it often comes as a surprise to clients. Avoiding probate while establishing a trust usually means a more expensive estate plan.

The Explanation

The question is deceptively simple, and the answers have a number of repercussions to consider. Can you simply disinherit a child who is not good with money? Yes, you can (at least in Arizona, and assuming the child is not a dependent or minor child). That might lead to hard feelings, and even litigation, but assuming you are competent and your wishes are clearly stated, the disinheritance should be effective.

At the same time, you can leave a disproportionate share of your estate to someone else. You can even tell them you expect them to take care of a sibling (or a grandchild, or a spouse, or anyone else you are disinheriting). But you can’t expect them to actually carry through. They may be saintly and responsible, but they are not immortal. Your son will probably leave his estate to his wife or children — and they might or might not carry through on his obligations. Or your son might have business reverses, or be sued by someone he injures accidentally, or … you can begin to see the variety of problems that could arise.

There’s a practical problem in addition to the legal/financial one. Your two sons get along well? We can tell you that cutting one out and telling the other to take care of his brother will end that positive relationship. The disinherited child will feel like he has to beg for something he is entitled to. The favored child will feel like he has been thrust into a parental relationship with his brother. Each will resent the other.

By creating a trust, you reduce that problem — but you do not eliminate it. The trustee son can now point to the document to explain his decision (“see? Mom said I was not to just turn the money over to you to buy as many cars as you thought you needed”), but there will still be a fundamental change in their relationship. You might want to consider making someone else trustee.

But who? The brother who already doesn’t get along with the beneficiary? (Don’t dismiss this idea so quickly — the question is asked half-humorously, but half-seriously.) The bank? Another family member (the cousin who is a bank officer, perhaps)? A professional (your accountant, your lawyer, your broker)? A professional fiduciary (they are set up in many, but not all, states)? Each of those choices has positives and negatives, and they are the topic for some future discussion here — and a more immediate one with the lawyer you hire to draft your trust.

Best of luck. It’s not easy to deal with your children’s different needs, abilities and expectations.

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Robert B. Fleming

Attorney

Robert Fleming is a Fellow of both the American College of Trust and Estate Counsel and the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. He has been certified as a Specialist in Estate and Trust Law by the State Bar of Arizona‘s Board of Legal Specialization, and he is also a Certified Elder Law Attorney by the National Elder Law Foundation. Robert has a long history of involvement in local, state and national organizations. He is most proud of his instrumental involvement in the Special Needs Alliance, the premier national organization for lawyers dealing with special needs trusts and planning.

Robert has two adult children, two young grandchildren and a wife of over fifty years. He is devoted to all of them. He is also very fond of Rosalind Franklin (his office companion corgi), and his homebound cat Muninn. He just likes people, their pets and their stories.

Elizabeth N.R. Friman

Attorney

Elizabeth Noble Rollings Friman is a principal and licensed fiduciary at Fleming & Curti, PLC. Elizabeth enjoys estate planning and helping families navigate trust and probate administrations. She is passionate about the fiduciary work that she performs as a trustee, personal representative, guardian, and conservator. Elizabeth works with CPAs, financial professionals, case managers, and medical providers to tailor solutions to complex family challenges. Elizabeth is often called upon to serve as a neutral party so that families can avoid protracted legal conflict. Elizabeth relies on the expertise of her team at Fleming & Curti, and as the Firm approaches its third decade, she is proud of the culture of care and consideration that the Firm embodies. Finding workable solutions to sensitive and complex family challenges is something that Elizabeth and the Fleming & Curti team do well.

Amy F. Matheson

Attorney

Amy Farrell Matheson has worked as an attorney at Fleming & Curti since 2006. A member of the Southern Arizona Estate Planning Council, she is primarily responsible for estate planning and probate matters.

Amy graduated from Wellesley College with a double major in political science and English. She is an honors graduate of Suffolk University Law School and has been admitted to practice in Arizona, Massachusetts, New York, and the District of Columbia.

Prior to joining Fleming & Curti, Amy worked for American Public Television in Boston, and with the international trade group at White & Case, LLP, in Washington, D.C.

Amy’s husband, Tom, is an astronomer at NOIRLab and the Head of Time Domain Services, whose main project is ANTARES. Sadly, this does not involve actual time travel. Amy’s twin daughters are high school students; Finn, her Irish Red and White Setter, remains a puppy at heart.

Famous people's wills

Matthew M. Mansour

Attorney

Matthew is a law clerk who recently earned his law degree from the University of Arizona James E. Rogers College of Law. His undergraduate degree is in psychology from the University of California, Santa Barbara. Matthew has had a passion for advocacy in the Tucson community since his time as a law student representative in the Workers’ Rights Clinic. He also has worked in both the Pima County Attorney’s Office and the Pima County Public Defender’s Office. He enjoys playing basketball, caring for his cat, and listening to audiobooks narrated by the authors.