Let’s be honest — many people put off estate planning. It can feel complicated, expensive, or like something you only need to worry about later in life. But estate planning isn’t about age or wealth. It’s about making sure the people you love are cared for when misfortune strikes.
For LGBTQIA+ individuals — and nontraditional families, in general — that care can feel especially uncertain without a plan in place. Straight married couples often benefit from laws that recognize their relationship by default. And although we’ve made considerable progress for LGBTQIA+ rights, estate and probate laws (left to their own devices) may not recognize your partner at all.
The good news: specific documents and arrangements can act as powerful equalizers. They let you put your wishes in writing, give your partner legal authority, and help ensure your relationship is recognized where it counts — in hospitals, financial institutions, and the courts.
Here are a few things to keep in mind.
What Happens If You Do Nothing
If you die without a Will, a Trust, deeds, or beneficiary designations, your state’s “intestacy” laws will step in and decide how your estate gets distributed. Married couples may not mind — intestacy laws generally protect a surviving spouse. But unmarried partners face a very different reality.
In states that don’t recognize common law marriage — including Arizona — the law treats unmarried partners like legal strangers. Your estate could pass to your parents, siblings, or distant relatives. Your partner would receive nothing. It won’t matter that you’ve shared a life for decades. Without the right documents, the law won’t recognize your relationship.
A Will is the most basic fix. It lets you decide who gets what when you die. A Trust can accomplish the same thing and may work better for mixed families or more complex situations. An elder law or estate planning attorney can help you figure out which option (or combination) makes sense for you.
Planning for Your Lifetime
A good estate plan doesn’t just cover death. It also protects you and your loved ones if you become sick or lose capacity.
A durable financial power of attorney lets your partner manage your accounts and pay your bills if you can’t. Without one, your partner may have to petition the court for appointment as conservator — a process that costs time and money. And “priority rules” may still leave your partner locked out, even after years of shared life together.
A healthcare power of attorney gives your partner legal authority to make medical decisions on your behalf. This document often includes a HIPAA release, a living will, and other directives to guide medical providers in critical situations. You can also include your funeral, burial, or cremation preferences with your healthcare power of attorney. Without these instructions, a biological family member — even an estranged one — may hold the legal right to make those calls.
Don’t Forget Your Beneficiary Designations
Some assets can skip probate entirely with the right paperwork. In Arizona, a recorded beneficiary deed can transfer title to your home directly to your partner upon your death. No court involvement required. Beneficiary designations do the same for life insurance, checking and savings accounts, and retirement accounts like IRAs and 401(k)s.
For many people, a home or retirement account is their most valuable asset. Talk with an attorney about how deeds and beneficiary designations can fit into your overall plan. At a minimum, take a few minutes to review the beneficiary designations on your existing accounts. It’s one of the easier things you can do, and it can have a significant impact on who ultimately benefits.
Wrapping Up
We’ve barely scratched the surface. Estate planning for same-sex couples and nontraditional families can also involve gift and estate taxes, guardianship, and parental rights over minor children.
But here’s the core idea: estate planning lets you define “family” on your own terms. Whether you’re married, partnered, or single, a few straightforward documents can make sure the right people are holding your hand — or handling your affairs — when it matters most.
